It’s Just a Number

January 9, 2010

That’s what I’ve been telling all my friends as they hit forty. Now it’s my turn. Do I really feel that way? Yes and no. Yes, because very little really depends on physical age. We all do inevitably run down over time and it takes time to build maturity; but how we use the time we have has a tremendous impact on who and what we are by a certain age. One may make some very broad generalizations about someone based on age, but the individual has much to do with what it really means.

No, because I have this vague but unshakeable idea of some person that I should be by the age of forty and reality doesn’t reflect that image. Each passing year caries away opportunities only glimpsed if seen at all as they flash by. Each year moves faster than the next. Each mistake is potentially more costly as time accelerates. Arrogance and brashness are replaced by caution and awareness of vulnerability. One may learn from experience without growing from it, especially if he learns the wrong lesson.

So I find myself looking back at my life as I approach this particular number, but that is nothing new for me. My challenge is to look forward. I cannot change what has already happened. I can decide what to do next. I look to Yahweh for guidance, because I don’t have a clear idea what that should be.

This I do know. There is no shame in age. The ravages of physical decline are lamentable, but I hate to hear people speaking of being old as if it diminishes them in some way. Women in particular seem preoccupied with the subject as their physical appearance changes. Take it from the blind guy. Who you are has very little to do with how you look. If you spent as much time on internal improvement as you spent on external trivialities your reward would be far greater.

I’ve never been one to respect age for its own sake, though the Bible teaches respect for elders. What I do recognize is that with age comes the potential for increased wisdom. If I’m looking for wisdom from a human source, I’m going to go to someone who has had time to accumulate more of it. Our society errs in its degradation of age. It reflects our focus on the superficial rather than the meaningful. My hope is that I enter the second half of my life growing in wisdom and sharing it with those who will come after me.

There’s just one more thing I need to say before I stop rambling. My Facebook friends already know that I’ve chosen to donate my fortieth birthday to a cause that I see as the next step in furthering my above stated goal. I’d like to see this be the year that we launch Mission Accessible in a big way. If you’re on Facebook, you can donate here. If not, you can donate directly from the Mission Accessible web site.

Fresh Word for the New Year

January 1, 2010

No, I’m not about to offer any prophetic utterance. I’m just excited about something I found this morning while looking for new ways to study the Bible. I know too little to have a considered opinion of the quality of the English Standard Version (ESV) translation, but I am encouraged by the material I found. Admittedly it was all from the publisher, but I feel reasonably confident that I will not be led far astray by using this translation. I am excited for a fresh perspective on the scripture and a reading plan that is similar to the one I have followed for years and allows me to use the RSS approach that has kept me on track for the past year. The MP3 alternative is a bonus. I can take those with me when I travel and need not be concerned with getting it on my phone. I would be interested in opinions from my scholarly friends on the ESV translation.

What Are You Waiting For?

December 30, 2009

Every year I joke that my new year’s resolution is to make no resolutions, and I always keep it. It is a reflection of my distaste for arbitrary dates and traditions that place on me some obligation to do a certain thing in a certain way at a certain time. I probably won’t be using this joke anymore, because I also like to think of myself as a staunchly logical person, and to say that I resolve to make no resolutions is a logical impossibility.

Imagine then my delight to find justification for my annual new year’s negation. It turns out New Year’s resolutions are derived from ancient Babylonian and roman customs. Check out this article or do your own search for New Year resolution history. The tradition is firmly rooted in pagan practice. Unlike Christian celebrations such as Christmas that were moved or adjusted in some way to compete with pagan festivals, the New Year celebration has no Christian foundation. Add to that the well-known inaccuracy of historical methods of marking time, and you can see that there is no reason to treat New Year’s Day differently than any other day.

Please understand that I am not saying that New Year celebrations or resolutions are inherently evil. Like most things not specifically prohibited by God’s word, they are a matter of personal conscience. God is concerned with what is in your heart. I intend to have dinner with friends on New Year’s Eve, but we’ll all be sleeping in the new year. As for resolutions, if you need to make one, what are you waiting for? Don’t wait for some arbitrary date to get started. Do it now!

Christmas Spirit

December 19, 2009

All I want for Christmas is a bucket to upchuck it.
Saw it coming; couldn’t duck it.

Why must I be happy to see this glee of red and green fallacy?

Lend me your ear; give me a beer; shed a tear
for love lost, permafrost, forgotten death on a cross.

To be a friend you have to spend; do defend your greed to the end
a poison blend of piety and pretend.

This is peace on Earth? Forgotten birth; plastic mirth; the worthless given worth?

Gifts for all are at the mall but please don’t call if you should fall from favor.
We believe and we receive and guard our saccharine flavor.

Can’t buy me love but I can try. Don’t cry.
Just take it back. Here’s the sack. I lost track of what you lack.
Hapless hack just talking’ smack; please leave me out of this.

Compassion in fashion; no reason; just the season
Stroke the ego. Where do we go when the big day comes and passes?
It was molasses now quick silver and the bills are due. Merry Christmas to you too.

Unspoken

December 13, 2009

Thoughts prowling the dark places of the mind and heart
Hideous creatures barely contained behind gates with many locks
Fear, love, cold calculation, all not quite enough
Raging, growling, snarling, smashing against the bars!
They must be controlled, lest they break free to rend and kill and destroy.

I am the keeper, slave, and master.
I love them, loathe them, and always feed them.
I am the food that sustains them.
What will be the end when no strength is left to hold the locks?

Dear God

December 6, 2009

Dear God,

I hope this letter reaches You, for it seems my prayers cannot. Empty words fall to the ground and cover it that no life may be found. Oh that You would answer me! Drive the doubts from my mind. Your silence kills me. Do You find so much evil in me? May I not hear Your voice and know You?

Dear God,

Daily I write to You, thoughts in my head like a box of jigsaw pieces all from different puzzles and none of them complete. I write and do not speak because in the writing is the illusion of coherence. I beg that You will guide my hand, but You are not the author of confusion.

Dear God,

What do I know of faith? Some tell me I haven’t enough. It may be said of all of us, but I take it to heart. You do not answer, so I do not speak except to utter prefab phrases that tickle the ear and leave the heart cold.

Dear God,

What do I know of love? I know neither how to give it nor how to receive it. I proclaim it and pursue it and still do not understand it. How can You love me? If I had not that hope I would have left this world already, yet still I call and You do not answer. And so I hide my despair in secret letters, fearing to come close enough for words.

And yet, dear God, I remain sincerely Yours.

Hunt It Down

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